Because ADHD Is A Family Matter



When someone in the family – especially one of the children – is diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, everyone feels it. But as a parent you can help your child overcome daily challenges, channel their energy into positive arenas, and bring greater calm to your family,” says Melinda Smith, M.A. and Jeanne Segal, Ph.D. Thus, it is not only a condition suffered by one but by a whole unit, making it a family matter. Each of the members must help keep the harmony and the dynamic going. Read this article to learn some psychologist approved tips on balancing responsibilities towards your spouse, your regular children, and your child with ADHD.

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ADHD In Relationship: Understanding Instead Of Complaining

ADHD affects relationships, but not all people look at it as a huge issue. They didn’t know that there’s a far more damaging issue to the condition yet they seem to be not interested in talking about it. Perhaps that’s because it’s not a favorite subject. However, there are tons of articles and videos that discuss different useful advice on how to deal with the situation. There’s the discussion of impulsivity, hyperactivity, time-management, anxiety treatment, inattention, and a lot more. The good news is that learning about how your ADHD affects the relationship can help you find strategies and tools to improve communication with your partner and develop a healthier, happier relationship as a result,” says Katie Hurley, LCSW.

With this information, there’s a significant chance that people are now trying to acknowledge that ADHD in the relationship is becoming a big deal.


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Dealing With Anxiety: ADHD In Adult Relationships

There are many things to take into consideration when it comes to making a relationship work. The first lesson that every person needs to understand is the fact that each person has quirks, which make him different from those surrounding him. If you truly love someone, you will have no problem with these quirks or any other issues that may arise in the relationship. Otherwise, anxiety will only build up in the union to the point that you will grow distant from your lover.




At the same time, a relationship may also be full of challenges and struggles along the way. The reality is that these issues are not apparent during the early stage. These concerns usually come out after the honeymoon stage of a romantic partnership. In this article, our focus will be about the presence of ADHD in adult relationships. What should you do if you find out that the love of your life has Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder?


“It’s a good scenario if someone does have a supportive partner, so they can work together in a positive way to address the disorder,” Steven Safren, PhD. Take note that this disorder is not supposed to bring you apart from each other. Instead, you have to look at it as a reason to be closer to one another. Keep in mind that the condition of your partner may bring up stress, anxiety, and frustrations in the relationship. Do not fret or worry because there are tons of things that you can do to make things work despite the presence of these negative emotions.  According to Dr. Dorothy Stubbe, a board certified child and adolescent psychiatrist and Associate Professor and Program Director of the Yale Child Study Center’s world-renowned psychiatry program, “Adult ADHD tends to have less hyperactivity and more of a feeling of restlessness, but difficulties with focus and attention and organization remain.

Below are the smart tips to remember:


Educate Yourself About ADHD


There is no easier and better way to handle the situation than to teach yourself more about the ADHD condition. The more you are knowledgeable about attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, the faster it would be for you to adjust in the relationship. You have to understand the different signs and symptoms so that you can act quickly in difficult situations. Fortunately, it is already convenient for researchers like you to obtain information through mental health sites like BetterHelp. Make sure to verify the sources before believing what you read.


Know Your Role In The Relationship


Be mature enough to identify your role in the romantic union. Now that you are aware of the presence of ADHD in your partner, it is time to assess how you can help him handle the disorder. Take note that there are a lot of symptoms, which are not under his control. It means that some of his actions may be involuntary to the point that you will become too stressed or anxious to function. An excellent way of preventing this from taking place is to know how you can help the other person. Be responsible for assuming the role of not only his partner but also his confidant and friend, whom he can trust with his ADHD-related issues. But “usually, couples can make their lives better and recapture some of the joy and romance that might have gone out of the relationship,” says psychologist Arthur Robin, PhD




Prioritize Effective Communication


The presence of anxiety, stress, and frustrations in a particular relationship is not an indication that the union is weak and has to fall. Instead, you have to look at is as a sign that you need to be a little closer and more honest to your partner. Exert efforts in making sure that you communicate at all times no matter how busy you are. Do not forget to let the other person know how much he matters in your life before it is too late. Remember that having effective communication can help a lot in solving your anxiety and stress issues with one another.


Spend More Time Together


Never let the other person feel that you do not have time for him. Keep in mind that he needs all the love and attention that you can offer. As much as possible, make it your number one priority to spend quality time with your partner despite having a hectic schedule at work or in your business. It can be challenging to balance these things, but you have to consider it if you want the other person to be happy. Be grateful for every opportunity that you get to enjoy with your loved one. All it takes is to continuously make him feel that he comes first above anything else.




Always take note that staying in a relationship is always a choice. You have to make deliberate efforts to make the union work, especially in such a case where the person you love has ADHD. You can get through this.


All About ADHD

ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) is a peculiar neurodevelopmental disorder which affects a child’s well-being regarding schooling and forming social relationships. “Children with this condition have less voluntary control over their attention, their level of activity, and how quickly they make decisions, so parents can become frustrated, impatient, and demoralized,” says Richard Gallagher, PhD. This neurological syndrome is highly genetic which affects the regulation of a particular set of brain functions relating to behavioral control. People may notice subtle to visible traits which may indicate its manifestation in a family member.

There is a high expectancy for individual symptoms of ADHD visible in a child. It usually appears during teenage years with an average diagnosis of seven years old. Some older children who exhibit ADHD symptoms show complex symptom in earlier years in life. As such, doctors need to evaluate the child using particular criteria during the diagnosis of the condition.


Causes of ADHD

  • ADHD is not a manifestation or effect of a head concussion, traumatic life event, poor parenting, excess sugar, television, video games, or the lack of physical activity. Instead, it is a hereditary disorder which is the result of the following:
  • Structural Issues – Brain scans of adults with ADHD show significant reduction of mental activity. These include essential areas responsible for attention capacity and motor activity.
  • Chemical Issues – There are disruptions in the functions of serotonin levels which affect the regulation of the dopamine system where it changes behavioral patterns. It creates a difference in the pathway of dopamine activity which relates to reward and consequence decision-making in individuals with ADHD.
  • Brain Communication Issues – Brains of individuals with ADHD communicates differently compared to those with neurotypical brains. The dysfunction in DMN (default mode network) changes the performance and effort of a person in his activities.

Who Has ADHD

ADHD occurs regardless of gender, and it usually persists throughout an individual’s lifetime. There is no cure for ADHD due to its neurobehavioral origins. That’s the reason why the majority of individuals do not outgrow this condition. Two-thirds of children with ADHD require treatment because of its severe symptoms continuing in adulthood. And since every individual possesses a unique brain profile, it indicates that no two people with ADHD have the exact experiences and symptoms.



Individuals with ADHD may show the following symptoms:

  • Unusual Selfishness – Individuals with ADHD tend to put their needs and desires first regardless of the circumstance. They have no to little ability to recognize other individual’s needs and wants.
  • Inability to Control Emotions – There’s a difficulty in controlling the emotions during most circumstances for ADHD patients. To some extent, they may have an anger outburst in inappropriate situations.
  • Interrupting Others – It is a self-focused behavior of children with ADHD. They like to intervene in activities out of their social limitations. These include partaking in conversations and games of strangers.
  • Lack of Focus – People with ADHD have trouble paying attention to a task at hand. As a result, it ends up in with learning problems, ineffective coaching, and having numerous tasks left unfinished.
  • Organizing Problems – Due to lack of focus, they have trouble in keeping tasks and activities in track.
  • Avoiding Long Arduous Tasks – Activities using extensive mental effort are shunned by most children with ADHD such as paying attention in class or doing homework.
  • Fidgetiness – Children with ADHD are unable to stand still. They can’t play quietly and may run around excessively. They fail to engage in most activities calmly.



Seeking out medical professionals such as psychotherapist, psychiatrist, or psychologist who specialize in ADHD is the best way for condition evaluation. By carefully evaluating all of a child’s behaviors and emotional symptoms, a child psychiatrist can help parents identify the right combination of interventions for the complexity of the behaviors,” said psychiatrist Steven G. Dickstein, MD. They have the extensive experience needed for ADHD-specific diagnosis and treatment. Primary care physicians can also identify typical signs as well and take measures for mild ADHD symptoms.

Neuropsychological And Psychoeducational Process

Neuropsychological and psychoeducational testing is not a necessary diagnostic procedure, but these have numerous benefits such as specifying the correct therapeutic approach and medicinal recommendations. These procedures can help in profiling the individual’s unique brain identification which is advantageous in learning how to live well after ADHD diagnosis. These include interviewing of individuals with ADHD, the rating of symptoms, observing behaviors via the third party, and obtaining a medical history.



The most effective way for ADHD treatment is the combination of medication and therapy according to the latest research. Using both can cover a more significant number of symptom-related problems while suppressing frequent negative urges.

Medication can help normalize brain activity. It serves in managing brain-based functions while limiting some symptoms. However, a prescription must be done carefully and must be under monitor by a physician or psychiatrist. “When you find the right medicine, you can experience substantial improvements in ADHD symptoms,” says Russell A. Barkley, Ph.D.

As of now, cognitive behavioral therapy is the most effective therapeutic intervention. It has more promising results if combined with dialectical behavioral therapy. It is because both of these therapies focus on the identification of barriers adaptive to coping behaviors.

Learning about ADHD is the best way to discover symptoms as early as possible. Finding the most appropriate treatment options available is beneficial. Though the condition is incurable, there are ways to determine the best course of action necessary for patients.

How To Deal With Tantrums In ADHD Children

Having a child who is diagnosed with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) can be challenging in the beginning, especially if you are not prepared on how to handle the situation. Take note that there are several adjustments that you need to make to ensure that you will not have a hard time raising your beloved kid. “We need to be more aware of how the ADHD impacts their ability to listen, follow through on tasks, and control their impulses,” Steven Pastyrnak says. Keep in mind that there are some special requirements or care needs that you must prioritize when it comes to caring for a child with ADHD. One of the common problems that you may encounter is dealing with the said individual once he has tantrums in public places.


Fortunately, there are several smart ways on how you can address this specific situation. Before anything else, it is imperative on your part to remain calm at all times. Find a way to pull yourself together whenever you find yourself in a difficult situation where you have to attend to the tantrums of your kid. Once you panic, you will find it a complete struggle to provide immediate assistance. Here are some of the tips to put in mind:

Create A Plan Ahead of Time

If possible, make an effort to talk to your kid about the proper things to do whenever he starts to throw tantrums in public places. Talking through an upcoming event can be especially useful for kids with social anxiety,” said Perri Klass, M.D., and Eileen Costello, M.D. In this method, you need to make several assumptions to make it work. What you need to do is to create a sample scenario in your mind in case it happens. Imagine how your kids would react and how other people may have comments about it too. Educate your little one about what he can do whenever he encounters a triggering factor.


Avoid Embarrassing Him

Never make the mistake of embarrassing your child in public. Do not easily get made whenever he has tantrums that manifest in the way he talks and acts. Instead, be more patient and understanding about his condition. Avoid yelling just to get his attention. Keep in mind that there is a high possibility that he will not respond to you if you do not learn how to communicate properly while he is having tantrums. Instead, try to bring him to a secluded area first before you react. Taking time to cool off will also help you avoid the last and most counterproductive element of ignore-nag-yell-punish,” said JOHN TAYLOR, PH.D.

Stop Being Dramatic

As already mentioned above, it is imperative on your part to become calm. Keep your cool to see to it that you can think clearly on what to do next. Avoid being melodramatic because it can only keep your mind off the things that matter. Stop blaming yourself for the tantrums that your child is going through. Accept the reality that your child has ADHD and one of its adverse effects is experiencing outburst. Do not be ashamed to seek help for others in cases where you have no idea on what to do next.


Always remember that it is essential on your part to familiarize yourself about Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder. Read more about this mental health condition so that you will not experience difficulty in handling your child’s ADHD condition.

Living With ADHD: The 4 Things You Need To Know


It’s a bit difficult to distinguish what’s normal and what’s not when it comes to a kid’s typical behavior and that of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder [ADHD]. This was discussed in How can we draw the line between a child’s wont to be playful over being excessively hyper or to the usual carelessness over impulsiveness resulting from him having ADHD?

What’s Normal And What’s Not?

Daydreaming, boundless energy to the point of becoming restless [especially during days they have to stay indoors], saying random thoughts in conversations that have nothing to do with them, not following instructions whether in home or school, forgetting things, not listening when we want them to . . . Well, these are just the usual problems we have with our kids. But how much is too much? How are we going to know when to say, “Wait, isn’t this attitude or action over the top already?” According to psychotherapistKeath Low, “For many girls with ADHD, paying attention to the task at hand is their biggest challenge.”

To end the wondering, here are four essential things you need to know about ADHD.


  1. Hyperactivity and inattentiveness – both can be signs of ADHD.

Kids with ADHD are hyperactive, right? Wrong! Being overly active doesn’t necessarily mean a child has ADHD just as not all of those who are hyperactive have ADHD. Other attention problems might be the reason why a particular child is overactive.

Other than hyperactivity, showing poor to zero attention, continually spacing out and seemingly unmotivated to do anything can be telltale marks of the condition.

You have to remember ADHD’s three main characteristics. These are IMPULSIVENESS, HYPERACTIVITY, and INATTENTION. Your child can either be inattentive but not hyper and impulsive; hyper and impulsive but shows a degree of attention or all three. Exhibiting all the three characteristics is the most common form of the disorder.

  1. Kids with ADHD can be smart and artistically gifted.

While attention deficit hyperactivity disorder [ADHD] is recognized as kids’ most commonly diagnosed mental disorder, it doesn’t necessarily affect either their intellect or talents. There are children with this disease who are intelligent and gifted artistically. However, if we want to bring out the best out of them, we have to be open to working with them under a different circumstance from how we do with typical children.

Positive qualities a child with ADHD possess include highly imaginative, spontaneous, filled with energy, flexible, multi-tasker as well as boundless energy and drive.

  1. ADHD is not a result of bad parenting.

Having a child with ADHD doesn’t mean you’ve been a lousy parent. On the other hand, though, right parenting strategies can help manage the condition both in your home and in school. “We need to be more aware of how the ADHD impacts their ability to listen, follow through on tasks, and control their impulses,” Steven L. Pastyrnak says.

As kids with the disorder tend to be impulsive and spontaneous, parents should set a structure in their homes that they should consistently follow. Rewarding them for their excellent behavior and allowing them to face the consequences of their wrong actions can also help kids with ADHD form good habits.

And when parenting ADHD kids, you need to have unlimited patience, show love even during the times when they’re most unlovable, and give them all the support and encouragement they need to get over the challenges they face every day.


  1. You don’t have to wait for a diagnosis to help your child.

If you suspect your child has ADHD [According to the psychology manual DSM-5, a child has to exhibit 6 or more signs of the disorder before he can be diagnosed with ADD/ADHD], don’t wait for the proper prognosis to take action and ask for professional help.

Some of the steps you can do to combat your child’s ADHD are implementing a structure at home that includes his schoolwork, diet and exercise regimen, considering therapy and, most importantly, lessening household distractions that could take his attention to his task at hand. Psychiatrist Vania Manipod, DO says “Folks with ADHD may require more time to complete tasks in order to thrive.”

Yes, kids can carry this disorder until they reach adulthood but it doesn’t mean they can’t be productive citizens because of it. Individuals with ADHD can be successful, too.



Understanding ADHD In Girls

Why Your Little Princess Might Have It Without Anyone Suspecting

Most people, when asked about the typical signs of ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder), would readily answer climbing on things, being disruptive, stubborn and impatient – signs that usually boys with ADHD would do.And most would think it unbelievable that a very sociable girl with friends and good grades in school might have ADHD, too.




“But this is very possible,” says an LA-based child psychologist. “What can be presumed as signs of ADHD in boys we might not see girls doing. Thus, the condition looks different when girls are involved.”


Gender Difference

ADHD was viewed traditionally as a disorder affecting the male species. It is in this accord that the behaviors used to assess the condition among individuals may have been based mainly on the actions done by males and not females. According to psychotherapist Keath Low, “Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) has long been thought of as a condition affecting males (think an energetic boy who has trouble sitting still during class).”

The three main groups of ADHD symptoms are inattention, impulsivity, and hyperactivity. Typically, we see hyperactivity in the classroom in someone who’s continually fidgeting and is not able to sit still. A boy may show this symptom through imbalance sitting causing his chair to topple off and him to fall on the floor. However, a girl with ADHD may exhibit her hyperactivity differently through being the class helper, someone who is consistently out of her chair, fleeting from desk to desk doing little odds and ends.

To the teacher, the boy rates high on the hyperactivity scale because his actions are deemed disruptive in the classroom while the girl’s acts get overlooked and dismissed with a, “Oh, she’s just flighty” remark.

Secondly, aside from exhibiting symptom differences, boys tend to be more hyperactive and impulsive. And because behaviors associated with these two can cause classroom upsets and disturbances, teachers are more likely to refer boys for ADHD diagnosing and counseling.

Thirdly, ADHD symptoms in girls are, at times, concealed by their innate desire to meet the expectations adults have of them. Girls are more likely to follow the accepted norms of their surroundings so as not to cause trouble. In turn, adults always have these expectations about girls – being tidy, organized, more sociable and get good grades in school. Dr. Ellen Littman, co-author of Understanding Girls with ADHD, says that if a girl with ADHD does not receive a diagnosis or have treatment as she enters adolescence and young adulthood, she will almost inevitably encounter a “range of adjustment problems.”




How Will I Know That My Daughter Possibly Has ADHD?

Both genders share the same ADHD symptoms; girls just have different ways of showing it.

  • Doing homework takes a lot longer. Instead of doing what she needs to do, she quickly gets distracted by other tasks resulting in her doing her school works and projects at the eleventh hour.
  • No matter how hard she studies or appears to, her school performance doesn’t seem to match the efforts she puts into it.
  • Her reading comprehension is weak. She can read well but can’t connect ideas to the words. She also tends to disregard instructions in her assignments and school works.
  • She often forgets things she needs and misplaces them repeatedly.
  • She’s very chatty and sociable with others. While she may not climb or run to channel her hyperactive tendencies, you’ll most likely see her drifting from desk to desk in the classroom or go about being the classroom helper. She may also get involved in a lot of extracurricular activities like school clubs and such.
  • Her sunny demeanor and fun personality draw people in so she has many friends.
  • She’s often late for appointments and doesn’t seem to get ready on time.
  • She often has mood

If your daughter displays these behaviors and you suspect she has ADHD, you should seek someone well-versed in dealing with the condition. Remember, ADHD doesn’t make your child less than the other kids her age; she’s just unique. “ADHD is a challenge, not necessarily an excuse for kids,” says Steven L. Pastyrnak, PhD, of the Helen DeVos Children’s Hospital in Michigan.

Mom, I Can’t Sleep!

Tips To Help Your ADHD Child Fall And Stay Asleep At Night

“I always look forward to sleeping at the end of my every day. But I haven’t gotten a good night’s sleep recently,” lamented Tracie, a 30-year-old mother of three, one of whom was diagnosed with ADHD not long ago. This news hit the mom badly as is expected according to

According to Thomas Brown, Ph.D., longtime researcher in ADHD and developer of the Brown Scales, “problems with sleep as a developmentally-based impairment of management functions of the brain — particularly, an impairment of the ability to sustain and regulate arousal and alertness.”

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ADHD Discipline: When Your Kid Lies

Possible Reasons Behind The Behavior And Ways To Manage It

While not every child with ADHD is inclined to tell lies, ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) and lying go hand in hand together often to the chagrin of every parent. To make matters more complicated, with kids in this condition, confronting the behavior like how we do with regular children doesn’t always work. According to psychotherapist Amy Morin, LCSW, “A few simple changes to your parenting strategies could give your child the tools he needs to manage his behavior more effectively.” So how do we discipline our ADHD kids who frequently lie?


Determine What Caused The Behavior

There are three possible reasons why kids with ADHD don’t tell the truth.

  • Firstly, they have trouble expressing themselves. ADHD kids have difficulty with their processing and communication abilities. They might tell a lie thinking that they’re just communicating themselves with what they believe is an honest way. They might have forgotten and tell lies to cover it up. Or they just may be struggling to honestly convey what’s on their minds or what they exactly feel.

It’s not that ADHD causes kids to lie. For some who have the condition, the opposite even happens – they just can’t help from blurting out the honest truth!

  • Secondly, compulsive lying in some ADHD kids might be a sign that they’re suffering from low self-esteem.
  • Thirdly, lying could be an ADHD child’s way of dealing with the things around him. Aside from suffering from low self-esteem, maybe he doesn’t want to be perceived as a failure for failing too much or being too forgetful.

Addressing Both The Condition And The Behavior

Know and understand what caused the behavior.

To gain parental control over your child’s lying tendencies, try to understand every circumstance wherein he felt compelled to tell lies. Example, if he lies because he’s struggling with a particular activity, check on him from time to time, give him ideas on what to do and support him until your child reaches the point where he’s not afraid to fail anymore. “ADHD is a challenge, not necessarily an excuse for kids,” says Steven L. Pastyrnak, PhD, of the Helen DeVos Children’s Hospital in Michigan.

Don’t call them names.

What your child needs from you is compassion and understanding, not judgment and punishment.Lying might be something they don’t intend on doing, so don’t label them as such.

Point out the behavior to them.

Not punishing your ADHD child doesn’t mean you sweep up his lies under the rug. On the contrary, point out that lying is not acceptable and that they are dishonest not just to you but themselves as well. Teach them to be more honest in the future by pointing out gently but firmly their behavior the moment they do it.


Avoid situations wherein lying could be an option.

If you see your child watching TV during a time where he’s supposed to do his school work, don’t ask him if he’s finished with the latter before opening up the TV because you’re giving him the opportunity to lie to you by answering “Yes” even if he hasn’t. Check his notebooks yourself. If you find his assignments undone, tell him to turn off the TV and do them. Carla Counts Allan, PhD, of the ADHD Specialty Clinic at Children’s Mercy Hospitals and Clinics in Kansas City, MO, suggests “these tips for time out, whether or not the child has ADHD.”

As a parent, guiding your child to do what is right and explaining to him why a certain way, behavior or character is wrong is part of your responsibility. Help your child overcome his lying tendencies by building up his self-esteem, reinforcing in him the belief that he is not a failure by pointing out his strengths and by purely supporting him in his journey towards adulthood and independence.